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An Intimacy Revolution

“Self-care can be scary. Fight or flight is a natural response… The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

 

When I watched this scene in my new favourite series, Ted Lasso, I couldn’t resonate more with it. It reflects how personal growth and inner work can be the most daunting task, especially when it means confronting uncomfortable truths so that we can heal, ultimately leading to liberation and growth.

 

I remember a time some years back I felt like I reached a plateau in my personal growth and development. It wasn’t long before I realised the “plateau” was my own resistance to going further, journeying deeper. A part of me knew that there were areas of my life that, if I acknowledge, I would have to make changes, create boundaries, and have the difficult conversations.

 

Where I was wasn’t horrible, nor was it inspiring me. I got by, I knew how to navigate that way of being: being submissive, saying the right things to sustain external peace and harmony, avoiding conflict and confrontation, or turning a blind eye when values don’t align.

 

When this realisation dawned upon me, I was conscious of this choice I had to make. Do I continue living in this realm of familiarity and comfort, or… do I choose growth?

 

At that time, I learnt that growth meant learning what my truth was, and acting accordingly. As such, it meant authentic expression. The congruence and coherance of our internal values and also how we show up in relationships and connections.

 

It wasn’t easy, having learnt masterfully the art of people pleasing, to be speaking my truth, voice quivering, trembling hands, gut wrenching and all. Yes – that’s how much it terrified me to hold real conversations.

 

What I also learnt, through these experiences, is that this is an act of generosity. It allows people to reclaim their power, to have choice in how they respond. I’m not making myself a pretzel to fit into their paradigm, instead, I’m communicating mine, and holding space to meet in an aligned way. To co-exist harmoniously, but this time, authentically.

 

There had been so many projections:

“Why can’t they be more…?”

“Why do they have to …?”

“I don’t get why they can’t just…”

 

These thoughts were so that I needn’t get out of myself and assert a boundary or have an honest conversation. I wanted an easy world whereby I could exist free-flowingly. So I don’t have to ‘ruffle feathers’ or to be threatened of ‘losing love’.

 

What I learnt, too, through self-care, is the capacity to be more intimate, more vulnerable with myself. To meet the Truth awaiting us required emotional intimacy within ourselves and with others. I had learnt this through the container of a therapy room. It was not modelled for me so much as I was growing up, so I felt like a baby all over again, learning a brand new way of relating. And it was so beautiful… in fact, it was this very reason that inspired me to work toward being a therapist. Intimacy taught me how rich a connection and relationship can actually be. How deep, and how steady.

 

There are relationships that I have experienced without conflict. We make way for each other, we are nice to each other. I don’t know about truthful, but definitely nice. Maybe we make concessions for each other.

 

Then there are the relationships that we are dauntingly honest, hopefully kind, with each other. We share, “What you said yesterday really hurt my feelings,” or “I felt disrespected when you did…” These are the relationships, through the depth of conversation, the vulnerability that was bared, that truly feels solid af. Unwavering, steady trust in these relationships, because I can count on these people to meet me in the deeper waters of intimacy.

 

I believe that intimacy is something that we learn through experience. When we feel safe within ourselves, we are able to be intimate with ourselves first. We are steady enough to trust that we can hold the truth that awaits us. To be present with what’s here within us. To not run away, ignore, or bypass with positive affirmations. Instead, to really be with.

 

The capacity to be intimate with ourselves paves the way for our capacity to be intimate with another. There is a sense of unwavering safety within ourselves, that supports our vulnerable expression with another. Here is where there is an opportunity to build a rock-solid foundation in any relationship. The braveness to be honest. The honesty that requires the vulnerability. The vulnerability that deepens the intimacy, on every level of the relationship.

 

It is such a heart-achingly, beautiful experience.

 

Especially after spending years not knowing who I was, there is an excitement and a devotion to learn what it means to be authentic, to be Me, as this ego-consciousness continues to evolve.

 

It feels like a remembrance, of who I am, before I learnt instead who to please, how to behave. How to be a good girl.

 

It feels like a revolution. An intimacy revolution.

A rising up of all that has been pushed down, for decades, for generations.

 

What a privilege, really.

 

I invite you (if you are still here, with me) to join me in this Intimacy Revolution.

 

I’ll be back in Singapore, for some days in October and I would love to invite you to join me in any of these intimate containers.

 

Space-holding: Truth and Integrity

The third installation of this sold-out series that Pearlyn (Transmission Wellness) and I are co-hosting, this time, a transmission directly from our Hearts to yours. What it means to be a space-holder, doing our work with utmost truth, building our capacity for intimacy to continually acknowledge and meet with our truth, being honest with ourselves as we navigate our business, clients, connections and conversations, and the pillars of integrity that are the building blocks of anything we are building so that it withstands the tests of time.

 

9 October 2024

Wednesday

7:00PM – 9:00PM

Craig Road

$166

 

Email to join us. Limited spots available.

 

10/10 Portal | Embodied Alchemy: A Ceremony of Light and Magic

Cacao Ceremonialist and Quantum Alchmist Malvina and I are co-creating an intimate 10/10 portal ceremony to celebrate the planting of seeds of brand new beginnings that this portal offers us. It’s a journey of clarity, cosmic magic and deep nourishment from Cacao and frequency medicine.

 

10 October 2024

Thursday

7:30PM – 9:00PM

Felt Sense, 23 Kampong Bahru Rd

$111

 

 

Somatics and Embodiment 101

Somatics and embodiment have become buzzwords, but what do they really mean in our everyday life? How can we move through the world in a deeply embodied way? In this Somatics and Embodiment 101 workshop, we will explore embodied movement, touch, breath, sound, art, and awareness. We will deconstruct Somatic Intimacy—a practice of connecting with ourselves through our living, breathing body, the vessel of our soul and spirit. We will experience how it feels to cultivate intimacy with ourselves, allowing us to enjoy a richer experience of life and relationships.

 

Whether you are new to somatic work or looking to deepen your practice, this workshop offers a safe and nurturing space for you to reconnect with your body and explore the true essence of embodiment.

 

12 October 2024Saturday 

2:00PM – 4:30PMCraig Road

$150

 

Email to join us. Limited spots available.

 

 

For 1-1 sessions, I am offering these three alchemical containers with a Pay-From-Your-Heart energy exchange. I invite you to pay in accordance with your truth. This is your investment in your personal journey and growth. By choosing an amount that resonates with you, you reflect the value you seek and align your contribution with your highest potential.

 

Somatic Alchemy

Somatic Depth Psychotherapy and Quantum Healing. Deep dive into your inner landscape. Heal from past experience. Know yourself through your body more intimately, so that you can create an abundant, empowered, and purpose-driven life.

 

 

Cosmic Conversations

Intuitive readings to strengthen your intuition in the process. Receive guidance from the cosmos, grounding them into intentional, practical action moving forward.

 

 

Frequency Medicine

Quantum Healing, Light Language Transmission, and Vocal Alchemy. This unique approach to trauma healing clears your energetic field, restores balance in your cellular body, and raises your vibration—realigning you with your highest frequency.

 

 

 

 

I look forward to working intimately with you in your self-care journey.

 

Your cosmic guide,

Stephanie

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