What Living Out of a Suitcase Taught Me About Home

Stephanie
2 days ago
6 min read

A Sense of Home; A Sense of Place

Three years ago, I sold and gave away 90% of everything I owned. Together with my then-partner, we packed up our entire lives into nine cases and bags, and left Singapore for Mexico. At that time, it was a clear direction from Spirit — to have that lived experience.

It was the start of a nomadic life for me. Since then, I haven’t been in one place longer than three months. From December to January of 2024–2025, I stayed in about twelve different accommodations.

Many times, I was in tears, from how deeply I yearned to not be living out of a suitcase. While clearing out the majority of my belongings brought a sense of lightness, freshness, and space for possibility, I also missed having a Home to build a life within.

A place where I could build an altar in the temple of my sacred space.

A sacred sanctuary.

Collecting décor and little knick-knacks to adorn my personal space.

My heart ached as I desperately searched for a physical place to land.

The cosmic joke of it all was that the home I had been living in and working out of — hosting day retreats and seeing clients for somatic therapy — was one of the most beautiful spaces I had co-created.

I left that penthouse for a suitcase life.

The suitcase life taught me much. Invaluable life lessons.

Most of all, purification.

To keep only the essentials.

To purchase consciously.

Because at the end of the day, I have to pack it all up again when I leave my temporary home.

But actually, isn’t all of life a temporary home?

Isn’t it about the time we spend while we’re living there?

Isn’t our body a temporary home, too?

Isn’t this life on Earth also a temporary home?

And the time that we are gifted, to make the most of it?

Recently, I had my palms read, and she told me that — free will to be considered — I won’t be settling into a more permanent (temporary) home for at least another two years.

I feel that if I had heard this maybe a few months earlier, I would have been distraught and crestfallen.

How much longer until I can have all my clothes out on hangers, my art on the walls, my sound instruments displayed?

How much longer until I can truly root into a place and be part of its community?

But when I heard it, I nodded. Almost expecting it.

Accepting it.

In hindsight, it was a very profound moment — especially considering the many prayers, wishes, and intentions I’ve held for a physical Home.

What it feels like now is this:

I’ve come to recognize, and take refuge in, the Home that is me.

Even in my (temporary) body.

With the (temporary) tight neck and achy lower back.

Beyond the physical, I truly feel that I’ve learned how to be a sense of Home for myself.

I don’t know if it was the super tumultuous year of 2025 that did it — because I resent the idea that we need hardship for our soul’s growth (though I may have said this before).

Or if it was the muscle of moving and settling, again and again, over the past three years.

Or the instability of my external life that forced me to find my own inner balance and buoyancy — or drown in the wild ocean.

The many times I threw my hands up and surrendered to Spirit — mostly because I felt I had no choice — only to find myself safe and held, again and again, in Spirit’s arms.

Maybe it is all of the above.

But I finally feel at Home, in myself.

And it reflects in my external life.

Friends in Singapore generously sharing their homes with me while I’m here.Effortlessly finding beautiful spaces to stay while traveling.

And most of all, experiencing a sense of Home in friendships, relationships, and community.

A sense of Belonging.

Having spent much of my life feeling like an outcast within my own family, this feels deeply meaningful.

It also returns my power back to me.

I no longer need to contort or pretzel myself to fit into spaces in order to belong.

I realized that others’ expectations of me have never been about me; but about themselves.

Their projections. Their judgments. Their inner critic.

This realization has brought freedom.

The freedom to remove myself from situations and relationships whose dynamics don’t value-add to my life.

In the past, I might have called this selfish or self-centered.

Now, I see it as one of the deepest expressions of self-love and self-compassion:

choosing spaces where my authenticity is welcomed and celebrated.

I am my own safe Home, first.

A few weeks ago, after a meal with my father, I left with a heavy heart — realizing that I may never be seen or accepted as I am by my family.

That I may never measure up or be perceived as “successful” in their eyes, because the image of me has already been solidified.

It also dawned on me that for them to truly see and accept me, they would have to see and accept the parts of themselves they’ve exiled — the very parts I reflect back to them.

This was a significant realization, when I really felt in my body, the way they feel about me is truly far beyond my control, my reach.

The way anyone feels about anyone is truly out of their control.

And we needn’t prove ourselves to anyone to see our worth, our value, our gifts.

We actually owe it to ourselves not to prove to anyone.

But instead, what we owe ourselves is permission —to be.

To simply be.

To enjoy our temporary existence, in our temporary Home.

That, we owe to ourselves.

To go after the experiences that light our hearts.

To do what lifts our spirits.

To love — fully, wholly, deeply, completely.

To not hold back.

To not hold in.

But to be.

Simply, be.

This is the place I now hold for myself — and the space I love to hold for others.

If it feels aligned, I would love to walk alongside you in your own journey of Being and Becoming.

If it feels timely — like an exhale — to learn how to be within a safe, spacious, and gentle container, here are some ways we can journey together, temporarily, in this temporary life.

4D3N Somatic Astrology Retreat in Ubud

Come into your brightest shining, most authentic expression through somatic exploration — voice, art, and movement.

Through the ancient language of astrology, through the sensorial odyssey of ritual, nature, and dining experiences.

Return Home with a deeper intimacy and embodied knowing of who you are — your innermost Self.

Learn more here.

30 Jan to 2 Feb

3 rooms remaining.

Book your spot by replying to this email.

Somatic Alchemy | 1-1 Sessions

In these intimate sessions, we cultivate a loving relationship with all parts of ourselves — no one left out, exiled, or abandoned.

Through a deeply layered, relational process, we learn to become a safe Home for ourselves.And to love ourselves — deeply.

Book your session here.

Astrology Reading –

Natal Chart + Solar Return Chart

Our natal chart tells us about the different aspects of who we are – our embodied and ethereal essence.

Our solar return chart highlights the outstanding themes of each year – from birthday to birthday.

Together, both charts guide you toward a life of fulfillment, inspiration, and wealth — in all its forms, far beyond the material. Both charts show us the ways we can work with our blueprint, our original flavor, instead of swimming and struggling against the current.

Book your session here.